Kathryn Hudson Today

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Thursday 26 April 2018

A WEIRD Dream : Dying and Letting Go

Hello, whassup, good morning from the Bronx!

I ran from my bed to where I sit here, too hurried even to wash or dress before writing, so that I don't forget this, so that I can get it down to record it. So, if you are put off by that lol, or don't want to read about a dream, I completely understand. I just need to get it in words, to record it, somehow (and no naked video-blogs - ever! is my rule - not to worry!) lol

I was dreaming - instants ago! - that I was heading to Heaven ... and I DIDN'T WANT TO GO!!

There was a gentle Voice explaining to me that my time was up, that my Work had been good, that I was ready to go... there were Voices of congratulations, and welcoming Voices...

I was surrounded by reassurances and Love.... but I still didn't wanna!

I was being reassured that, like a rain drop it was only Tension that was keeping me "in form"... and that now I would be releasing the earthly tension and re-joining the Source... free! Free of tension, free of worry, free of anger and all the rest of it...

But I didn't want to go!!

Now, to be clear, other than a large number of siblings spread out widely geographically, I don't have a family of my own: no children, kind of flying around hither and thither living this Life that is mine, so it wasn't that my family needed me, or something honorable like that.

I just DIDN'T WANNA!!

The setting was odd, when this dream "thing" happened: I was in Italy, someplace I had been before, but I just couldn't quite recall...

I was with a group, for a workshop or something like that but it was a night "off" and we were going sightseeing. As we were waiting (LONG time!), I sat on a light aluminum beach chair... and when our tram came, I realized I couldn't just leave the chair there on the street, that I had to bring it back into the hotel. I ran, telling the others , "I'll catch up!" But, once inside, I was frustrated; the hotel concièrge was ignoring me, no one could see me, and that I seeing that I was next in line. All were being generally being unhelpful, until finally, I was going to just leave the chair there, and got served.

Once freed up thusly, I ran outside but of course the tram had left... so I had to go to the office and buy a new ticket. (Okay, okay, there were also some Spanish tourists there with a map and I asked them for help and we spoke in Spanish until some puppies showed up that were so cute... all manner of dreamy distraction!)

When I finally got to The Office, I showed my credentials to a suspicious woman at the counter, and went to pay, only to realize I did not have my bag with me! No worries! Reaching into my pocket, I felt money, and pulled out a Deutschmark draft - Worthless! We all had a good laugh, and then I reached back in my pocket, pulling out a 50 euro bill (which I have never seen) to pay for my ticket. She disappeared a long while, but when she finally came back, I got my ticket.

And then IT HAPPENED!

As I sat in the waiting area, the booth I was in began to lift UP, and the folks around me said "oh it must be your time, bon voyage." I saw other chairs around me also lifting, not all, but some, and I recognized some fellow travelers... curious!

Surprisingly, when I figured out what was up, I was NOT happy.

The other "lifters" were a bit muddled like me, but mostly happy about living that for which we had waited our whole lives ... but not me! I was crying. I didn't want to go.

I just didn't wanna!

I didn't want to release the tension and go into the flow...I quite liked being Kathryn and - truth be told - trading in the bird in the hand for "what was behind the mystery curtain where Carol Merrill was standing" (if you caught that reference you are old like me lol) always seemed like a dumb idea to me!

Now I know myself to be in the second half of life (to put it generously lol), and many friends and family have already passed (RIP Dave, Rosemary, Didier, most recently), so it is normal that thoughts of "The End." come to mind...

But this dream was NOT about death. Not the final kind, anyway.

It was about a different kind of dying (at least for now.) This dream was about endings and new beginnings in the here-and-now. CHANGES.

As we all do - and it seems like even more so in these times - many of us are facing them: changes, BIG ones! Changes so BIG that they can feel like dying, a little. So they an be scary. And maybe the "I DON'T WANNA !", complete with jutting jaw and concrete-crossed arms comes up...

But here is that Voice again, calm, compassionate, understanding of our angst, reassuring us that "All is well, all is well, all is very, very well..."

Like a parent who has prepared a surprise visit to the circus taking a child who would rather stay inside and play video games, the Voice reassures me (us?) that wonders are in store, that we can safely let go of our small plans because something real and wonderful is coming.

ALL IS WELL!

And yet, even in my dreams I had trouble with it! HA!

Of course, if I jump OUT of that flying booth, I would have some problems, maybe! Or maybe I would just land on my ass and take the next tram, who knows? Try to catch up to my past...

But if I stay present, and curious and "go with the Flow",allowing the shifting that is occurring, apparently, things get pretty interesting... and I will be in GOOD Company!

I woke up crying, a funny mix of leftover emotion from the dream. But now, I'm good. Mostly lol

And I AM ON BOARD!!

So today, with sessions in a couple of hours, and some fun with friends planned for tonight, with a few more days of sessions and fun here in New York until I fly to Martinique and then Guadeloupe (it is finally confirmed - you'd think I were back in dream-Italy! lol) and New York then Paris, and, and, and ... I open and relax into it All.

Knowing that All Is Very Well, that everything is being Handled Perfectly (no sense in me meddling with Perfection HA!), I think I will (shower and dress lol), have a cuppa, relax, let the tension go and go with the Flow...

EnJOYing the ride from the Bronx...

Monday 23 April 2018

Find Your Unicorn (Magic happens!)

Good morning, whassup?

The birds (looks like they are turtledoves, wha-a-a-at?), safely tucked away under the air conditioner on my window sill warble freely: must be a NEW day!

A new day begins, a new beginning dawns... and the magic in the air tells me it is time to ... look for my unicorn!

YEAH YOU HEARD ME! (said in true Bronx style lol) Today i am going to look for (and find! my unicorn.

Not an easy task... you see, unicorns are not polite. They don't come running when you call them, they don't answer to a whistle... not even desperate pleas (above ALL, not THOSE!) will convince a unicorn to make an appearance.

Nope... unicorns are not polite. They were not raised (like me... maybe you, too?) to answer emails or phone calls or dinner invitations or "business things", or the myriad other interactions with humans we so often are trained to exercise - even when we don't want to. A conversation with a gossip (okay I don't stick around for those anymore), or respecting a prior commitment when we are not feeling well are examples of things a UNICORN would NEVER do!

As a result, of course, society looks askance at unicorns, going so far as to say they don't exist, affirming (erroneously, yet again, that what is invisible to the eye does not exist... but we can;t see Love, either, can we?

Unicorns are Love; too, but not love with a small "l" that may keep us small and beholden: unicorns are BIG! It is Love with a capital "L" that allows them the space to appear... a Love that ;leaves all free to be themselves.

It makes sense, then, that the world knows little of unicorns! Unicorns respond to Love only,, to the real definition of the word "love": not obligation, not duty, not need, not necessity. Magical beings, they are free to say yes or to say no... which is why when they say YES, it is really something special!! Unicorns can only be seen when they (like a turtle dove singing) feel safe and protected.

Something magical, something extraordinary! And it feels like today might be just such an extraordinary day...

Now there are places (Findhorn - a town name which actually means "unicorn"! - in the North of Scotland, for example) where human have begun to love again enough that unicorns are sometimes seen to roam freely in the forest by the beach... but in most places - even here in the magical part of the Bronx! - well, not so much!

Why is this part of the Bronx magical, you may ask? (Or not, but I am going to answer anyway... my unicorn is already showing up, doing what she pleases! lol)

When we step into our magic, when we awaken in the morning ready to soften and to love, well then, magic happens! When we decide to Live (another capital "L", there!), to chance it, to risk coming out from the deep forest to walk down Broadway, to see and be seen, well! THAT is magical!

I am not talking about the normal running-for-the-bus-while-thinking-of-five-other-things thing, but of a walk while staying put: keeping our unicorn presents, walking (perhaps) sedately beside us.

But we have to feel safe for that to happen.

If we have the great fortune to be in the company of the unicorn within us, we need to ensure that the environment will be safe for him/her: no allowing folks to poke and prod the gentle beast, lest the magic disappear. We know the things and events and people who nnurture our magic... and those who don';t. If we want to bring out the unicorn magic into life, it is important to ensure its well-being. Or *POOF* gone.

like Love.

In a "dangerous" situation, one that deflates our energy, the unicorn might be scared off, yes... or maybe it is the pokers and prodders who may be scared off: the curious-but-not-courageous, those who wish but do not dare...

But that's okay! Unicorns roam free, and this is not a terrain fit for all!

When we find the unicorn, the turtle doves come, and the warm sunlight, and a quiet is cast upon even the noisiest of corners. Then, instead of feeling cornered by life (holding our breath), we can simply breathe OUT, and LET GO, knowing we are always perfectly safe, no matter what shi(f)t is happening.

The unicorn may frighten but it is all for the best. She is our strength, yes, but also our tenderness, and our capacity for magical LIFE! The beauty of it is that unicorns attract worthy playmates: other magical beings not afraid to explore the quiet of a Bronx Monday morning to find the magic hidden right under the surface...

(Check out their eyes! ;-) )

So, magical today is a big day, enjoy...

Unicorns everywhere, from the Bronx...

Sunday 22 April 2018

Peace on Earth... Day (alternative title SHIFT HAPPENS)

Yo, whassup ? ;-)

Okay, okay, a simple good morning might be more authentic coming from me, but I am in the Boogie Down - er, the Bronx - and so thought it might be appropriate to start off at peace with this place where I awaken.

Yesterday was a busy day - like every day since my arrival Wednesday (not Monday as planned thank you to la belle France who knows how to throw a strike!)

Thank you (an not an ironic one this time lol) also to all who contributed to the nesting that is going on here, with furniture, brawn and heavy lifting (Ryan, Adam, Gene), the truck rental, pizza (can't do anything without pizza! lol) and general oversight, help with wood glue (which I learn is a thing lol) and light lifting (Anna and Tom, Maria)... the job got done!

Almost...

The shifting occurs, and then the settling in. Which is where I am now.

PEACE only follows THAT.

So the settling in begins... cable (Optimum, thank for your input, those who inputted lol) got set up and my settling in (how to deal with too many channels!) is just beginning... additionally, on the "tech" front, the new mobile is here and my learning how to work it, also just beginning... SHIT! I don't know how to do any of this! lol

On the physical front, there is now furniture here but odds and ends to find, and the decorating now begins: making of this place, MY place. The shift occurs, then the settling in, the owning of it.

And with that owning of it, the peace. A perfect day for it, as today is EARTH DAY.

Peace on Earth!

We hear it, ubiquitous, during the holiday season, but since today is Earth Day, what better day, or better way to wish - for our planet and all who are part of her (including US!) - peace.

SADLY, though, wishing is one thing, and making it so, quite another, wouldn't you agree?

So how can I impact (positively!) this GI-NORMOUS wish of mine, "Peace on earth!" ?

Well, maybe first realizing that I am (we are) not separate from the Earth, but a part of her, a part of earth's eco-system.

The moment we as souls accepted (yes "We" had a choice, even if "we" didn't lol) to come into the world to play the Game of Life this go-round as the people we are today - the moment we took on flesh and blood and sinew and bone - we became part of the Earth, which includes all of it: people and plants and everything that is physically, materially existent. Like us. ;-)

Once I "get" that, it is not a long walk to understand that if I wish for Peace on Earth (and I do), the most direct route to bring it about - a helluva starting point! - is to cultivate peace in myself: recognize the shifts that have occurred, and ARE occurring, and settle into them, make peace with them.

The shifting is going on - the tumult. We see it all around, non? Most people I meet are personally going through some... er, shall we say tumult instead of the word that wants me to type it (shit-shit-SHIT lol)... and we can see that the earth too, is fighting the good fight (floods, fire, snow, earthquakes...

Additionally, can we help but notice that our socio-economic structures are also shifting and there is not a small amount of fear and its ugly-pimple cousin, hate (fear is the root, hate the pus) flying around, virtually and in "real" life....

Shit shit SHIT!!

AH, but what is fertilizer if not good for the earth ... and SHIT ?

So, imagining that all of the shit - personal and collective - is occurring for a reason! Maybe to render more fertile the life that will emerge of these turbulent times?

If that is the case (and I feel it so deeply every cell shouts encouragement), then the BEST thing I can do to help the earth is to 1. accept the shifting that is happening (inside and out) and settle into it. Get PEACEful with it.

Hell maybe even PLAY with it, have some FUN with it! Why not?

If I believe as I begin it that my day is going to suck, well, then, guess what?

But if I begin a day - THIS Earth Day, for example, ready for the day to bring with it major gifts (and I see one event I was dreading is actually a gift, now, whew!), well, then, GUESS WHAT?!!!

So what solid steps can I take today to settle into my shifting (Paris to the Bronx, more travels behind it, new professional projects (oracle cards with Sandra San Tara! and the US publishing of my books) ... knowing that even "good " changes can disrupt our peace, like so much fertilizer that feels like shit?

1. Embrace what IS, no use swimming upstream (and I know where I am being led is better for me than where I wanted to swim lol)

2. Remember when the shit hits the fan, that a sense of humor animates the Universe and so I should allow it to animate me (more) too

3. Through it all, don't forget to have FUN!

Yeah, I can get peaceful around some FUN. :-)

SO, in alignment with that, (and with deep breathing exercise that help me to face anything) HERE IT GOES:

My wish for you (and for me!!! this day is PEACE ON EARTH! And maybe also...

...FUN on Earth Day from the Boogie Down...

Wednesday 4 April 2018

FOR YOU, MOM : a blog from March 13, 2018

Bonjour!

It has been a long while since I sat to write a blog... it has been a long while since I sat still long enough!

Since my return to Europe a month ago, I have been on the run: Paris, Bordeaux, then Switzerland for the last two weeks, almost every minute filled with work I love to do.

(I know how lucky that is: I was a banker for 22 years!)

I got back to wet-puppy Paris yesterday and dutifully did the laundry and the shopping, and began preparing for a big workshop I hold every year in the center pf Paris. Every year since my Mom passed...

The first time I ran the workshop, I was nervous as it was a sea-change for the former banker I was. So I chose Saint Patrick's weekend for those three days 2010 for good luck, proud Irish passport-holding girl that I am. What I didn't know when I booked the hall months in advance was that something else would happen in March of 2010 that would rock my world even more.

My Mom died.

She passed the night of March 8, just before midnight, and I was with her. We kids had been taking turns staying with her at night, and it was my turn. I had been talking and singing to her, and marveled that she "came to" a bit at two moments: to sing a little of "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" with me, and again, when I softly told her "I can walk you to the door Mom, but I can't go all the way with you - soon, though!": imagine my surprise when her eyes flew open just then and she confirmed, "Soon!"

Funny to the end, my Mom was. If you listened closely enough...

She loved to laugh, and we loved when she did. So much so, that i would make a point of calling her whenever I did anything really dumb: I loved making her laugh! Now, when I do something goofy, I wish I had her to call.

Her life was not an easy one, with all seven of us in tow, up and down the 96 steps to our apartment (6th floor, no elevator), any number of times a day, so far from the life of which she must have - like all of us? - dreamed as a young, beautiful girl. Sometimes you could feel her regret... but we always loved when she had a drink and cut loose, laughing the way I imagined she had when she was young.

I was home for an RnR visit (and for my niece/goddaughter's bachelorette party) before my first big workshop when she had a stroke and, after some days, slipped away.

I flew back to Paris after her funeral with my then-partner-in-crime who had flown over to be with me during that period (thank you, Jérôme - some kindnesses you never forget), with a big hole inside, but determined not to cancel what was - I knew, even then - the start of a new life for an old banker (I was all of 46 lol.)

I remember when I first told my Mom what I was getting up to, over here in France, after the Bank shifted strategies and I declined the positions offered me, stateside (I became a banker to get to Paris, no sense in going back then.)

When I told her I was working with Angels, she said, with a bit of frustration, "Not you, too!"

I pulled it out of her: apparently, my Grandma (her mother) used to do tea leaf readings for the people in her building growing up, and she had always been - and still was! - horrified by that. It was all of the immigrant mom doing weird things that made her not fit in, to be different, "weird".

And now, her banker-normal daughter was going to be "weird" too.

I will never forget that day, as I came out of the "spiritual closet" to my Mom: I was at once delighted that there was a history in my family (that I wasn't as weird as all that, at least not for us), and sad that my Mom was not as happy about my shift as I was. Oh well...

But, like everything, that changed too. After my Dad died, Mom and I spent a month at my place, Attitude Adjustment, in Emerald Isle, NC. During that time, I made her drinks and we howled at the full moon together, drawing closer.

We saw a movie in which Kevin Costner promised that in the event of his passing, he would always visit his newfound love, and the sign would be the wild horses on the outer banks. Walking back to the car after the movie, I asked my Mom if she wanted to do that, if we would also send a sign to the other - whoever left first. I was surprised when she agreed, and we opted for crows, sacred messengers between the worlds.

Well, that weekend after my Mom's funeral, I was nervous as all get-out before my first workshop. But there were crows: on the way to the Metro, from the Metro to the venue, on the way home, crossing the Mirabeau bridge. For thee days there were crows.

And this past weekend, teaching the same workshop (almost the same - it has evolved some!) in Lausanne, Switzerland on the occasion of the anniversary of my Mom's death... you guessed it - crows! Every morning as I walked to work, a boon for my day.

Yeah, I run all around the world these days, teaching and generally enJOYing, and delighted that the writing I always dreamed of doing is finally coming to pass. That professionally, things are movin' and shakin! (Gratitude!)

But sometimes (maybe like all of us?), I still get to feeling like the kid who wishes her Mom were around. Like right now...

... and as I write this from the Paris apartment, on the terrace just outside, yep. You guessed it again.

Sure, sure... I know what they say. That crows precede (and follow) rain. And it is meant to rain today.

But that logic stuff ain't fooling me, none... I know how thin that veil is.

Thanks, Mom, love you too!

Crow love from Paris...

Taking Back the Vehicle

Bonjour from gray and rainy (quelle surprise) Paris!

As elsewhere, the Spring has not yet sprung here in Paris, leaving lovers come to celebrate April in Paris, well, soggy.

But no matter! What happens OUTSIDE doesn't affect what happens INSIDE, right?

Right??

Okay maybe not so much. I remember in my twenties working in "The City" of London with the Bank one winter. Every day, rain and more rain. For weeks. Then, one blessed day... the SUN came out!!!

EVERYONE was smiling! In the street, in the office, EVERYONE was VERY apparently (positively) impacted by the sun coming out.... which led me to make a somewhat snide comment to my English colleagues that they were all behaving like a bunch of Americans! (They had before that made indictment of Americans as too happy, kind of like puppies. But the reality was simply, I pointed out, that they weren't getting enough Vitamin "D"elight, in the form of sunshine. I guess I showed them)

So, what?? So... we know the weather affects us. Of course it does. And not just the meterological kind. The weather around us, the ambiance, the attitudes and energy of the people with whom we are surrounded, "whether" they are positive or negative: all of it impacts us.

And it will continue to do so. Unless and until we take over the vehicle.

Huh?

Exactly! huh?

How often do we ask whence a funk that grabs us by the toe is actually coming? How often do we, with a simple "Huh? Where did THAT come from?", identify the variables (rain, sleet, hail, Kelly, Rob, Donald) that are raining on our parade - commandeering our vehicle?

Imagine that our body - composed of many levels (physical, mental, emotional, energetic) - is simply the VEHICLE that our soul chose to drive in this lifetime. It's our vehicle, and meant to last a lifetime. It was conceived of and created specifically to optimize the chances for our success: the realization of the purpose to which we were born, for which our soul decided (yes, decided!) to come alive, thanks to the Creator/Creation.

Bear with me, now...

Imagine further that we have a mission (each of us), but that no one ever told us that we have a mission. (I know that was true for me. maybe for you, too?) So how can we guide our vehicle to the destination when we don't know where that destination is?

Confounding this, we live in a world that commandeers our vehicle regularly: we can (maybe often) feel like we have no choice. GOTTA go to school, to work, to church, to war, to fulfill this or that social obligation... The dastardly "shoulds" and "gottas" that commandeer our vehicles from the beginning.

The commandeering of our vehicles begins at such an early age that sometimes we never even have the opportunity to take over the vehicle ourselves. To enjoy the riding of it!

From obligation to obligation and so unto death we go... with hopefully some splattering of fun in there, at least enough to be the sugar that makes the medicine go down!

But maybe - and I am thinking out loud for myself, mainly, here - if I can just sit comfortably in my vehicle, take back the ownership of it, maybe that balance could shift to a lifetime of joy speckled with obligation. And at that, obligations that don't seem like obligations anymore because Spirit has re-awakened in us and we are having FUN again!

How to take back the vehicle? here are some ideas I think I will try out, but basically it comes down to one truth.

I STEP INTO MY POWER/TAKE BACK MY VEHICLE BY ENSURING ITS WELL-BEING WITH ONLY HIGH-QUALITY FUEL:

1. Spend time with people who are uplifting (generally, positive people.) This means also avoiding the folks who will bring us down. It is easy to find nay-sayers: recognizing and valuing our cheerleaders is the key.

2. Invest in your vehicle. Imagine you had a Ferrari, would you leave it parked on Dykman street by the river? (Some of you know whereof I speak lol.) Would you let it go, never washing or waxing? Giving it cheap gas, or too little care? (And then, be surprised when it gets ill or stalls on you?)

Another example, if you are not a car person (I don't have one, personally), imagine that you are a violinist and you have a Stradivarius. A masterpiece which seems to have been created in the heavens! Just like your instrument! If you had such a violin, would you "let it go", letting anyone who asked use it?

No!

Similarly, sacred, our vehicles, our instruments are to be maintained with the utmost care and honor. (DO WE HONOR OUR BODIES?)

3. Let go of what is no longer good enough. Let go even of the phrase "good enough." "Good enough" is settling, and when we settle, everything is pulled down: we give away our instrument. Maybe to someone who doesn't even know how to play it.

4. Rest: Take time apart. Let your vehicle idle. Never good to run at top speed all the time.

5. Rest: Find beautiful places to simply be, sometimes. Harsh roads all the time does not make for long life. (RIP Dave.) <3

6. Rest: From the rules. Let your vehicle do simply what it goddam well wants to, sometimes lol.

7. Go into nature, exercise, breathe deeply, dance, play, sex, sing, laugh (big belly laughs!)... enJOY your vehicle to keep it running at a high level for a long time... eternally! <3


***********************************************************************************************************

Voilà! Some ideas for stepping back into our power, for taking back "the vehicle" we are graced with in this lifetime.

SURE, sure, I have heard the only "let go and let GOD" adage, and am in complete agreement with it. But not INSTEAD of stepping into our power, but along with it!

Before I can let GO, I have to be in possession of something to let GO of. I have to take back my vehicle from the world that commandeered it, and STEP INTO MY POWER, loving the vehicle I get to move through this world in, this go-round.

In this way, I assure the optimum performance (JOY!) of the instrument called "Kathryn" as I, curious and no longer burdened by the heaviness of the world and its obligations, can enter joyfully and consciously into Collaboration.

So today, before I start running again tomorrow, today I will be...

...TAKING CARE OF THE BODY from Paris...

Sunday 4 February 2018

Step On That Smurf!

Mornin', y'all!

It is Super Bowl Sunday here in the US and I am never here for it, so that is really kind of fun. Especially since my numbers are going to win lol. And GO EAGLES! ;-)

Before the game begins, I get to do some REIKI - with the ocean as a backdrop - for a good friend trying it for the first time... so that is great fun, too!

In between, after i finish this quick blog, I have only the Afterword or "Next Steps" chapter of my second book to finish, and it'll all get sent off to France for publishing this spring/summer... how great is that?

But I am MOST excited about a little something that happened in a yoga class yesterday.

Let me be clear: I prefer spin class. I do classes here in NC and also in Paris, have for three years now, and LOVE me some spin class! Mostly, I love getting GOing, as hard as I can, until I am red and sweating and winded... LOVE it! It is kind of how I have lived my life, and so it is familiar to me...

But yoga? That's a different story. Yoga requires patience and flexibility. UGH!

It's good to know yourself... and I can be inflexible. Physically, yes, definitely. But if I am honest, not only...

But these days I can see that inflexibility is not working for me: not the physical kind, nor any other kind. My body is aching for more fluidity and flexibility, and my heart and mind are, too. The ability to let things flow, to let go of what was, to allow the new to arrive, these are gifts I now pine for. So when the yoga instructor asked me if I were staying for the yoga class after spin last week, I said "why not?"

I started going to yoga.

I must say it is a bit disheartening as I am really very stiff lol. Women twenty years older than me showing me (way) how it's done encourage me greatly, but I can see I have a long road before me...

But that is Smurf talk!! Step on it!!

huh?

Let me correct the above phrase: I can already see progress and have hope... mostly because of Shiva and the Smurf.

Huh?

Juli, the (great) yoga teacher at Momentum in Morehead, was talking during the class about a deity called Shiva the destroyer... who destroys what needs to GO so new life can begin. Which already spoke to me, but as she spoke, it got even more interesting.

Shiva, she says, is most often pictured stepping on a Smurf!! (Ok, ok she said a blue dwarf, but I heard Smurf. Bear with me.)

Shiva is stepping on the Smurf which represents the "drama" in life... in so stepping, he has a higher perspective, and can see clearly real Life. With a capital "L".

When I see the drama in my life as simply a Smurf to deal with by stepping on it and looking above, that feels powerful. In addition, I simply cannot take a Smurf seriously, which puts everything into perspective and helps me not give power to the drama.

Ever hear the phrase, "Not my circus, not my monkeys!? It is a meme that seems to be everywhere, reminding us to not get dragged into other peoples' drama.

But stepping on the Smurf reminds me of something maybe even more important to me: not to let MY circus, or its monkeys, pull me down, either!

So now I begin my day with a yoga Sun Salutation, and step on that Smurf to rise above the madness...

One Step at a Time from Emerald Isle...

Sunday 28 January 2018

There's Nothing - and Everything - Out There

Mornin' y'all!

It is an ethereal morning here on the beach: beyond the dunes, there is... nothing!

Pure white, like the televisions screens of yore after midnight (if you know what i mean, you are old too. So glad to still be alive 'n' kickin!)

But seriously, there is nothing beyond the dunes... nothing visible to the eye, anyway.

With the fog that sits on the beach waiting to hear the sand cry "Uncle!", no life is discernible: land and sea both swallowed up in white: the kind that makes you squint to try to see, but nothing works. The horizon between land and sky, the whole of the earth beyond, melted away in some giant magic trick.

WHOA!

It IS beautiful, but also disconcerting, as we humans (okay, I can only speak for myself), rather, I like to feel like I am in control. But when the world disappears, I am not in control, and so the eerie beauty holds a tinge of discomfort.

I should be used to it!

It's long since I ceded control (which is an illusion anyway), to allow for the magic of grace to guide my comings and goings. But the sight of the world gone not mad, but just GONE this morning reminds me that no matter how long it has been, part of me would still like to crawl, not often but sometimes, under a rock. Even a heavy one. Just to gain some semblance of stability, of something solid.

I have visibility for oh, about the next three months of my existence: where I will be, what work I will be doing, and then nothing. Oh, maybe some silhouettes in the distance, lovely ones of Martinique, Guadeloupe, Tahiti, New Caledonia... but these are forms not yet solidified, work not yet confirmed, still in the planning stages.

And though my situation is admittedly a bit extreme, isn;t that the way for all of us, to a degree?

We think we know what will happen this year - hell, this DAY! - but then something surprising occurs. Life throws us a curve ball. One that we so often judge as being "good" or "bad." A variation from our "plan"... just about every day.

How we behave when those curve balls come is a measure of how comfortable we are in our skin, in our life. How confirdent we are that - even when we can't see the beach or the future - we know it is there. Everything is out there.

And it's gonna be good... because things generally turn out BETTER when I don;t try to control them... not worse. And the dimension to my life - to Life as a whole - which is invisible is far greater than we were ever taught... a Source of great comfort once we learn to relax and breathe in that Presence.

That Presence that has everything under control. As long as we can relax and go with that flow.

Whooosh! from Emerald Isle...

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