Kathryn Hudson Today

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Sunday 10 June 2018

Come What May ... to Let Go

Bonjour from Boen-sur-Lignon, in the hills above the small village where I am holed up for a few days for some R and R... and admin work! lol

It is the out-breath after the in-breath, and though it took me decades, I have learned the importance of it...

It is Sunday here, in the way that Sundays are Sundays in quiet places far from big cities. No hint of human life, just a slight breeze stirring the red roses, and birds chirping in French.

Ahhhh...

This, a gift, after a very busy week, with my first pre-release book signing, and individual Angel and Reiki sessions, and a REIKI class filling the 5 days prior to my arriving here. Today, happily I will head to Sunday Lunch (I put this in capitals on purpose: this is an Event here, when families gather and eat (well): a fun, light and yet deeply grounding gathering with other folks in a "family" setting. Rarissime for me, and so I am simply delighted.

Just a short while ago, I didn't know this gift was coming my way... I thought I would be headed to Metz to present at a gathering of mediums (medium what? lol). But in the way that things happen, that event got canceled, and this one got set up and ahhhhh... I am not working today!

(Okay, okay, I will be doing a SKYPE session with someone from the US later today... but with a 6-hour time difference, that feels like years away! I am already prepared for it, and so I can let go of that event which won't happen for another 6 hours, and let come what is here in this moment, the gift of the present.)

So I focus on receiving and LET COME... what may. And in so doing, hit upon a real golden nugget: __ Letting COME is so much easier than letting GO! __

Of late, events on the outside have led me to this truth on the inside: if I focus on what is here and coming my way now, I can WAY more easily let GO of what was.

Imagine a situation that is ending, one that is difficult to release (above all if there is uncertainty about what is to come, long-term. Like if one is headed to retirement, or if a relationship or job is ending...

I remember well when the Bank reorganized (every two weeks or so.) It was pure panic in the halls! After surviving many such mini-massacres, the day came when it was my time, and initially I was in a panic: I simply didn't know how to live without that job. It felt like my life was ending. EVEN THOUGH I always knew that that job was not "my place" in the world, and I had never found it fulfilling. I never found the gumption to leave it, and so Life was pushing me out of the nest...

But SURPRISE! Life wasn't ending! In fact, it was kind of just beginning... and the space created allowed me to spread my wings! I am grateful for it today, but was not back then. Hindsight? 20/20!

Similarly, if a relationship comes to an end, we might feel the same panic: it doesn't even have to have been a particularly GOOD relationship: the habit of accompaniment (even poor accompaniment!) is comforting. and when it evaporates (or implodes), it can feel like the end of the world. Which can make us hold on even tighter, in a death grip that does no one any good.

With big changes in life: job or relationship, moving homes or releasing other addictions (smoking, drinking, eating stuff not good for us), often our letting GO can be complicated by a mist of fear around the "cliff" of ending: what will catch me when I fall? how can I let go when this feels like an anchor, a lifeline?

Today I am thinking that maybe the answer (for me, anyway - we can always only speak for ourselves) is to have FUN, and COME WHAT MAY.

Instead of focusing on what might be leaving my daily experience, maybe I can simply focus on what is entering it.

Only if I stop mulling over the past can I be free to see the signs (like so many wink-wink-nudge-nudges from the Universe or the Angels) and gifts that are trying to present themselves to me: now, in this instant! With birds singing in French (I am really cracking me up with that this morning lol)!

Instead of giving myself the hard job of giving something UP, maybe I can cut myself some slack and do the easy focus of RECEIVING what is here right now. If my mind tries to go backward (old habits), I have only to gently re-focus on what sparkle there is in this moment: birds chirping in French hahaha!) to shift my experience from the past to the gift of the present, maybe from empty to, simply, quite full.

When I focus on the magic of the moment, I more easily let go of what had felt an anchor but now only keeps me from swimming freely, in rich Life. As such, I focus on the magic of what may COME (what I say may come, that is, I allow and celebrate it), and dive in and enJOY the water. No more treading water, dutifully!!

And once I dive in, magic! The answer (what a relief!) comes through clearly to that (very reasonable) question: what or who will catch me, "after"?

Like a parent who is asking the child to jump into the pool - knowing the child is going to LOVE it! - the Universe is there, arms wide open, saying, affirming, shouting sometimes (when necessary, so I can hear)... "I GOT YOU!"

Getting "GOT" from Boen-sur-Lignon, come what may...

Sunday 27 May 2018

Psssst- Over here!

Pssst- over here!

Bonjour, love, from Paris!

Last night was a late one for me.. oh, not like in the "old days" lol; based on that standard, I would have considered it a very early one!

Non, last night was a late one for the "me" of these times: my train was delayed hours due to storms and trees falling on rails, but I finally got back to the apartment here in Paris and fell into my bed a little before 2am. (I remember a couple of times in New York City going OUT at 2am. lol)

Yowzer!

Turns out this also feels a bit like a hangover: body slow on the up-take, stiffness in the muscles: I don't like it! Normally I jump out of bed, ready, but today a heavy foot brings me, unwieldy, though the morning tasks. But my sluggish body is also doing me a favor.

It is slowing me the f**k down!

To be clear, slow does not mean unhappy - oh no! Yesterday was a GINORMOUS day at a Book Expo where I had the great fortune to teach/hold a conference/Angel Party and sign books and meet great people all day long in an amazing medieval space! But to get there, I had to travel: rising before 5am for the train to Nantes and (thank you, Christelle!) a car ride (after a flat tire)... almost 24 hours later, I found my bed anew!

Yowzer again!

So today I will do what needs doing, but at a greatly reduced rhythm. The gym? Unlikely. The stores? Just a quick stop, across the street (I am leaving again tomorrow) ... I will go Sunday morning slow and easy...

...which brings to mind a song, just perfect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65lZt1EEW4E

Easy as Sunday morning!

After the tumult of the travels of late... and before the travel tomorrow and the (fun) tumult that will follow, for today, I am easy as Sunday morning. Sacred Sunday silence!

In the song, Lionel Richie sings of the easiness of moving on, forward, knowing one has done all one can... a time of re-filling for living peacefully whatever will come next, our future that whispers, "Pssst- over here!"

Psssst! Over here!

In the quiet of this morning, we can hear it; that "Psssst - over here!" that, in the tumult of everyday life, is not always easy to catch.

Psssst! Over here!

It is the call of the Heart, of the soul, or Who we Are, truly, which is waiting to be more fully expressed.

It is the call of Spirit, of the angels that surround us always but who wait for such special Sunday-morning moments (which sometimes happen on Monday afternoons lol) to call to us, to catch out attention, to reel is INward, into the silence which assures us that no words are necessary.

The easy-as-Sunday-morning moments which allow us to breathe, to recognize that no matter what came before we can RELAX!

All is well!

We are not alone, and the accompaniment that is with us in this very moment - now! - is pure Love. For us. In us. As us.

Whispering, (and when we get quiet enough, we can hear it): "Pssst... over here! Re-member!"

Love and Remembering from Paris...

Thursday 10 May 2018

Peek-a-Boo : a Game of Light

Bonjour from sunny Fort-de-France, Martinique !

Here for another 4 days of conference/individual sessions/workshop, I spent yesterday exploring a bit and wishing I had given myself more beach time here in the Antilles. Next time! :-)

Today I am working on something that had been working on me for a while: messages through an oracle deck that i will be creating, with a SO-talented partner who sill do the art, Sandra SanTara (check out her website) ... woo-hoo!

My French publisher asked me to create a deck of cards, and suddenly I had an inspiration as to what the first deck should look like... or rather its main objective of opening up to Spirit/Angels/the Universe/God/Our Higher Power (insert name that suits here.)

That said, even with a vision for the cards, inspiration has been lacking as I have been keeping myself (quelle surprise lol) too busy!

But today, after the day "off" yesterday, a first inspiration came forth at dawn as I awoke, and here it is, the first card of the deck:

PEEK-A-BOO!

PLAYING PEEK-A-BOO IN THE MORNING AWAKENS US TO THE PRESENCE OF OUR SOUL, AND ALLOWS FOR AN EASY PLAYFUL ALIGNMENT WITH OUR HIGHER POWER.

Explanation:

Upon waking in the morning it is interesting to play a game of peek-a-boo, just for a few minutes. Place your hands over your eyes before you open them, and then, slowly, open them, as is done in the child's game of Peek-a-Boo. Then close them again slowly, allowing time "in the dark", within, calm, cocooned, then open them again slowly allowing for a bridge to be established between peaceful sleeping-time You and the day that lies before you.

A Game that allows for the consolidation of our Knowing that we are not just the human beings that walk around all day, but also an eternal Presence that is quite present at the thin-veil time that is dawn.

This Knowing creates a solid foundation for the day and allows for more synchronicities as we consciously align with the highest in Ourselves.

Peek-a-Boo from Martinique...

Thursday 26 April 2018

A WEIRD Dream : Dying and Letting Go

Hello, whassup, good morning from the Bronx!

I ran from my bed to where I sit here, too hurried even to wash or dress before writing, so that I don't forget this, so that I can get it down to record it. So, if you are put off by that lol, or don't want to read about a dream, I completely understand. I just need to get it in words, to record it, somehow (and no naked video-blogs - ever! is my rule - not to worry!) lol

I was dreaming - instants ago! - that I was heading to Heaven ... and I DIDN'T WANT TO GO!!

There was a gentle Voice explaining to me that my time was up, that my Work had been good, that I was ready to go... there were Voices of congratulations, and welcoming Voices...

I was surrounded by reassurances and Love.... but I still didn't wanna!

I was being reassured that, like a rain drop it was only Tension that was keeping me "in form"... and that now I would be releasing the earthly tension and re-joining the Source... free! Free of tension, free of worry, free of anger and all the rest of it...

But I didn't want to go!!

Now, to be clear, other than a large number of siblings spread out widely geographically, I don't have a family of my own: no children, kind of flying around hither and thither living this Life that is mine, so it wasn't that my family needed me, or something honorable like that.

I just DIDN'T WANNA!!

The setting was odd, when this dream "thing" happened: I was in Italy, someplace I had been before, but I just couldn't quite recall...

I was with a group, for a workshop or something like that but it was a night "off" and we were going sightseeing. As we were waiting (LONG time!), I sat on a light aluminum beach chair... and when our tram came, I realized I couldn't just leave the chair there on the street, that I had to bring it back into the hotel. I ran, telling the others , "I'll catch up!" But, once inside, I was frustrated; the hotel concièrge was ignoring me, no one could see me, and that I seeing that I was next in line. All were being generally being unhelpful, until finally, I was going to just leave the chair there, and got served.

Once freed up thusly, I ran outside but of course the tram had left... so I had to go to the office and buy a new ticket. (Okay, okay, there were also some Spanish tourists there with a map and I asked them for help and we spoke in Spanish until some puppies showed up that were so cute... all manner of dreamy distraction!)

When I finally got to The Office, I showed my credentials to a suspicious woman at the counter, and went to pay, only to realize I did not have my bag with me! No worries! Reaching into my pocket, I felt money, and pulled out a Deutschmark draft - Worthless! We all had a good laugh, and then I reached back in my pocket, pulling out a 50 euro bill (which I have never seen) to pay for my ticket. She disappeared a long while, but when she finally came back, I got my ticket.

And then IT HAPPENED!

As I sat in the waiting area, the booth I was in began to lift UP, and the folks around me said "oh it must be your time, bon voyage." I saw other chairs around me also lifting, not all, but some, and I recognized some fellow travelers... curious!

Surprisingly, when I figured out what was up, I was NOT happy.

The other "lifters" were a bit muddled like me, but mostly happy about living that for which we had waited our whole lives ... but not me! I was crying. I didn't want to go.

I just didn't wanna!

I didn't want to release the tension and go into the flow...I quite liked being Kathryn and - truth be told - trading in the bird in the hand for "what was behind the mystery curtain where Carol Merrill was standing" (if you caught that reference you are old like me lol) always seemed like a dumb idea to me!

Now I know myself to be in the second half of life (to put it generously lol), and many friends and family have already passed (RIP Dave, Rosemary, Didier, most recently), so it is normal that thoughts of "The End." come to mind...

But this dream was NOT about death. Not the final kind, anyway.

It was about a different kind of dying (at least for now.) This dream was about endings and new beginnings in the here-and-now. CHANGES.

As we all do - and it seems like even more so in these times - many of us are facing them: changes, BIG ones! Changes so BIG that they can feel like dying, a little. So they an be scary. And maybe the "I DON'T WANNA !", complete with jutting jaw and concrete-crossed arms comes up...

But here is that Voice again, calm, compassionate, understanding of our angst, reassuring us that "All is well, all is well, all is very, very well..."

Like a parent who has prepared a surprise visit to the circus taking a child who would rather stay inside and play video games, the Voice reassures me (us?) that wonders are in store, that we can safely let go of our small plans because something real and wonderful is coming.

ALL IS WELL!

And yet, even in my dreams I had trouble with it! HA!

Of course, if I jump OUT of that flying booth, I would have some problems, maybe! Or maybe I would just land on my ass and take the next tram, who knows? Try to catch up to my past...

But if I stay present, and curious and "go with the Flow",allowing the shifting that is occurring, apparently, things get pretty interesting... and I will be in GOOD Company!

I woke up crying, a funny mix of leftover emotion from the dream. But now, I'm good. Mostly lol

And I AM ON BOARD!!

So today, with sessions in a couple of hours, and some fun with friends planned for tonight, with a few more days of sessions and fun here in New York until I fly to Martinique and then Guadeloupe (it is finally confirmed - you'd think I were back in dream-Italy! lol) and New York then Paris, and, and, and ... I open and relax into it All.

Knowing that All Is Very Well, that everything is being Handled Perfectly (no sense in me meddling with Perfection HA!), I think I will (shower and dress lol), have a cuppa, relax, let the tension go and go with the Flow...

EnJOYing the ride from the Bronx...

Monday 23 April 2018

Find Your Unicorn (Magic happens!)

Good morning, whassup?

The birds (looks like they are turtledoves, wha-a-a-at?), safely tucked away under the air conditioner on my window sill warble freely: must be a NEW day!

A new day begins, a new beginning dawns... and the magic in the air tells me it is time to ... look for my unicorn!

YEAH YOU HEARD ME! (said in true Bronx style lol) Today i am going to look for (and find! my unicorn.

Not an easy task... you see, unicorns are not polite. They don't come running when you call them, they don't answer to a whistle... not even desperate pleas (above ALL, not THOSE!) will convince a unicorn to make an appearance.

Nope... unicorns are not polite. They were not raised (like me... maybe you, too?) to answer emails or phone calls or dinner invitations or "business things", or the myriad other interactions with humans we so often are trained to exercise - even when we don't want to. A conversation with a gossip (okay I don't stick around for those anymore), or respecting a prior commitment when we are not feeling well are examples of things a UNICORN would NEVER do!

As a result, of course, society looks askance at unicorns, going so far as to say they don't exist, affirming (erroneously, yet again, that what is invisible to the eye does not exist... but we can;t see Love, either, can we?

Unicorns are Love; too, but not love with a small "l" that may keep us small and beholden: unicorns are BIG! It is Love with a capital "L" that allows them the space to appear... a Love that ;leaves all free to be themselves.

It makes sense, then, that the world knows little of unicorns! Unicorns respond to Love only,, to the real definition of the word "love": not obligation, not duty, not need, not necessity. Magical beings, they are free to say yes or to say no... which is why when they say YES, it is really something special!! Unicorns can only be seen when they (like a turtle dove singing) feel safe and protected.

Something magical, something extraordinary! And it feels like today might be just such an extraordinary day...

Now there are places (Findhorn - a town name which actually means "unicorn"! - in the North of Scotland, for example) where human have begun to love again enough that unicorns are sometimes seen to roam freely in the forest by the beach... but in most places - even here in the magical part of the Bronx! - well, not so much!

Why is this part of the Bronx magical, you may ask? (Or not, but I am going to answer anyway... my unicorn is already showing up, doing what she pleases! lol)

When we step into our magic, when we awaken in the morning ready to soften and to love, well then, magic happens! When we decide to Live (another capital "L", there!), to chance it, to risk coming out from the deep forest to walk down Broadway, to see and be seen, well! THAT is magical!

I am not talking about the normal running-for-the-bus-while-thinking-of-five-other-things thing, but of a walk while staying put: keeping our unicorn presents, walking (perhaps) sedately beside us.

But we have to feel safe for that to happen.

If we have the great fortune to be in the company of the unicorn within us, we need to ensure that the environment will be safe for him/her: no allowing folks to poke and prod the gentle beast, lest the magic disappear. We know the things and events and people who nnurture our magic... and those who don';t. If we want to bring out the unicorn magic into life, it is important to ensure its well-being. Or *POOF* gone.

like Love.

In a "dangerous" situation, one that deflates our energy, the unicorn might be scared off, yes... or maybe it is the pokers and prodders who may be scared off: the curious-but-not-courageous, those who wish but do not dare...

But that's okay! Unicorns roam free, and this is not a terrain fit for all!

When we find the unicorn, the turtle doves come, and the warm sunlight, and a quiet is cast upon even the noisiest of corners. Then, instead of feeling cornered by life (holding our breath), we can simply breathe OUT, and LET GO, knowing we are always perfectly safe, no matter what shi(f)t is happening.

The unicorn may frighten but it is all for the best. She is our strength, yes, but also our tenderness, and our capacity for magical LIFE! The beauty of it is that unicorns attract worthy playmates: other magical beings not afraid to explore the quiet of a Bronx Monday morning to find the magic hidden right under the surface...

(Check out their eyes! ;-) )

So, magical today is a big day, enjoy...

Unicorns everywhere, from the Bronx...

Sunday 22 April 2018

Peace on Earth... Day (alternative title SHIFT HAPPENS)

Yo, whassup ? ;-)

Okay, okay, a simple good morning might be more authentic coming from me, but I am in the Boogie Down - er, the Bronx - and so thought it might be appropriate to start off at peace with this place where I awaken.

Yesterday was a busy day - like every day since my arrival Wednesday (not Monday as planned thank you to la belle France who knows how to throw a strike!)

Thank you (an not an ironic one this time lol) also to all who contributed to the nesting that is going on here, with furniture, brawn and heavy lifting (Ryan, Adam, Gene), the truck rental, pizza (can't do anything without pizza! lol) and general oversight, help with wood glue (which I learn is a thing lol) and light lifting (Anna and Tom, Maria)... the job got done!

Almost...

The shifting occurs, and then the settling in. Which is where I am now.

PEACE only follows THAT.

So the settling in begins... cable (Optimum, thank for your input, those who inputted lol) got set up and my settling in (how to deal with too many channels!) is just beginning... additionally, on the "tech" front, the new mobile is here and my learning how to work it, also just beginning... SHIT! I don't know how to do any of this! lol

On the physical front, there is now furniture here but odds and ends to find, and the decorating now begins: making of this place, MY place. The shift occurs, then the settling in, the owning of it.

And with that owning of it, the peace. A perfect day for it, as today is EARTH DAY.

Peace on Earth!

We hear it, ubiquitous, during the holiday season, but since today is Earth Day, what better day, or better way to wish - for our planet and all who are part of her (including US!) - peace.

SADLY, though, wishing is one thing, and making it so, quite another, wouldn't you agree?

So how can I impact (positively!) this GI-NORMOUS wish of mine, "Peace on earth!" ?

Well, maybe first realizing that I am (we are) not separate from the Earth, but a part of her, a part of earth's eco-system.

The moment we as souls accepted (yes "We" had a choice, even if "we" didn't lol) to come into the world to play the Game of Life this go-round as the people we are today - the moment we took on flesh and blood and sinew and bone - we became part of the Earth, which includes all of it: people and plants and everything that is physically, materially existent. Like us. ;-)

Once I "get" that, it is not a long walk to understand that if I wish for Peace on Earth (and I do), the most direct route to bring it about - a helluva starting point! - is to cultivate peace in myself: recognize the shifts that have occurred, and ARE occurring, and settle into them, make peace with them.

The shifting is going on - the tumult. We see it all around, non? Most people I meet are personally going through some... er, shall we say tumult instead of the word that wants me to type it (shit-shit-SHIT lol)... and we can see that the earth too, is fighting the good fight (floods, fire, snow, earthquakes...

Additionally, can we help but notice that our socio-economic structures are also shifting and there is not a small amount of fear and its ugly-pimple cousin, hate (fear is the root, hate the pus) flying around, virtually and in "real" life....

Shit shit SHIT!!

AH, but what is fertilizer if not good for the earth ... and SHIT ?

So, imagining that all of the shit - personal and collective - is occurring for a reason! Maybe to render more fertile the life that will emerge of these turbulent times?

If that is the case (and I feel it so deeply every cell shouts encouragement), then the BEST thing I can do to help the earth is to 1. accept the shifting that is happening (inside and out) and settle into it. Get PEACEful with it.

Hell maybe even PLAY with it, have some FUN with it! Why not?

If I believe as I begin it that my day is going to suck, well, then, guess what?

But if I begin a day - THIS Earth Day, for example, ready for the day to bring with it major gifts (and I see one event I was dreading is actually a gift, now, whew!), well, then, GUESS WHAT?!!!

So what solid steps can I take today to settle into my shifting (Paris to the Bronx, more travels behind it, new professional projects (oracle cards with Sandra San Tara! and the US publishing of my books) ... knowing that even "good " changes can disrupt our peace, like so much fertilizer that feels like shit?

1. Embrace what IS, no use swimming upstream (and I know where I am being led is better for me than where I wanted to swim lol)

2. Remember when the shit hits the fan, that a sense of humor animates the Universe and so I should allow it to animate me (more) too

3. Through it all, don't forget to have FUN!

Yeah, I can get peaceful around some FUN. :-)

SO, in alignment with that, (and with deep breathing exercise that help me to face anything) HERE IT GOES:

My wish for you (and for me!!! this day is PEACE ON EARTH! And maybe also...

...FUN on Earth Day from the Boogie Down...

Wednesday 4 April 2018

FOR YOU, MOM : a blog from March 13, 2018

Bonjour!

It has been a long while since I sat to write a blog... it has been a long while since I sat still long enough!

Since my return to Europe a month ago, I have been on the run: Paris, Bordeaux, then Switzerland for the last two weeks, almost every minute filled with work I love to do.

(I know how lucky that is: I was a banker for 22 years!)

I got back to wet-puppy Paris yesterday and dutifully did the laundry and the shopping, and began preparing for a big workshop I hold every year in the center pf Paris. Every year since my Mom passed...

The first time I ran the workshop, I was nervous as it was a sea-change for the former banker I was. So I chose Saint Patrick's weekend for those three days 2010 for good luck, proud Irish passport-holding girl that I am. What I didn't know when I booked the hall months in advance was that something else would happen in March of 2010 that would rock my world even more.

My Mom died.

She passed the night of March 8, just before midnight, and I was with her. We kids had been taking turns staying with her at night, and it was my turn. I had been talking and singing to her, and marveled that she "came to" a bit at two moments: to sing a little of "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" with me, and again, when I softly told her "I can walk you to the door Mom, but I can't go all the way with you - soon, though!": imagine my surprise when her eyes flew open just then and she confirmed, "Soon!"

Funny to the end, my Mom was. If you listened closely enough...

She loved to laugh, and we loved when she did. So much so, that i would make a point of calling her whenever I did anything really dumb: I loved making her laugh! Now, when I do something goofy, I wish I had her to call.

Her life was not an easy one, with all seven of us in tow, up and down the 96 steps to our apartment (6th floor, no elevator), any number of times a day, so far from the life of which she must have - like all of us? - dreamed as a young, beautiful girl. Sometimes you could feel her regret... but we always loved when she had a drink and cut loose, laughing the way I imagined she had when she was young.

I was home for an RnR visit (and for my niece/goddaughter's bachelorette party) before my first big workshop when she had a stroke and, after some days, slipped away.

I flew back to Paris after her funeral with my then-partner-in-crime who had flown over to be with me during that period (thank you, Jérôme - some kindnesses you never forget), with a big hole inside, but determined not to cancel what was - I knew, even then - the start of a new life for an old banker (I was all of 46 lol.)

I remember when I first told my Mom what I was getting up to, over here in France, after the Bank shifted strategies and I declined the positions offered me, stateside (I became a banker to get to Paris, no sense in going back then.)

When I told her I was working with Angels, she said, with a bit of frustration, "Not you, too!"

I pulled it out of her: apparently, my Grandma (her mother) used to do tea leaf readings for the people in her building growing up, and she had always been - and still was! - horrified by that. It was all of the immigrant mom doing weird things that made her not fit in, to be different, "weird".

And now, her banker-normal daughter was going to be "weird" too.

I will never forget that day, as I came out of the "spiritual closet" to my Mom: I was at once delighted that there was a history in my family (that I wasn't as weird as all that, at least not for us), and sad that my Mom was not as happy about my shift as I was. Oh well...

But, like everything, that changed too. After my Dad died, Mom and I spent a month at my place, Attitude Adjustment, in Emerald Isle, NC. During that time, I made her drinks and we howled at the full moon together, drawing closer.

We saw a movie in which Kevin Costner promised that in the event of his passing, he would always visit his newfound love, and the sign would be the wild horses on the outer banks. Walking back to the car after the movie, I asked my Mom if she wanted to do that, if we would also send a sign to the other - whoever left first. I was surprised when she agreed, and we opted for crows, sacred messengers between the worlds.

Well, that weekend after my Mom's funeral, I was nervous as all get-out before my first workshop. But there were crows: on the way to the Metro, from the Metro to the venue, on the way home, crossing the Mirabeau bridge. For thee days there were crows.

And this past weekend, teaching the same workshop (almost the same - it has evolved some!) in Lausanne, Switzerland on the occasion of the anniversary of my Mom's death... you guessed it - crows! Every morning as I walked to work, a boon for my day.

Yeah, I run all around the world these days, teaching and generally enJOYing, and delighted that the writing I always dreamed of doing is finally coming to pass. That professionally, things are movin' and shakin! (Gratitude!)

But sometimes (maybe like all of us?), I still get to feeling like the kid who wishes her Mom were around. Like right now...

... and as I write this from the Paris apartment, on the terrace just outside, yep. You guessed it again.

Sure, sure... I know what they say. That crows precede (and follow) rain. And it is meant to rain today.

But that logic stuff ain't fooling me, none... I know how thin that veil is.

Thanks, Mom, love you too!

Crow love from Paris...

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