Kathryn Hudson Today

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Tuesday 26 September 2017

YES! (A Prayer)


Paris is chill and rainy (surprise !) but in my heart it's sunny because I am off today... mostly sunny, mostly off. ;-)

The first day off in eight straight, I have a bit of "me" time, though within the hours of this day, there will be a web-tv interview about my book, a blog (this one, silly! lol), the bank - post office - and printers, and the beginnings of the prep work for 6 weeks of travel for work in the South Pacific, (Nouméa then Tahiti. I know, no sympathy, right?) ;-)

As a rule, I never pack this early... I don't leave for French Polynesia 'til Sunday. But (never say never) as I will be working every day AFTER today until Sunday, this is THE day to get the lion's share done...

Now, you can understand, I imagine, that this morning, after 8 days straight of working (even though I love love LOVE teaching), when it was time to get up and get moving, within me there was a wee "awwwww" that one could could easily construe as a "no."

But YES!

Of course there are times when that wee voice (or a big booming one lol) disagrees: when it whispers, states or screams NO! Non? ;-)

Things happen that we don't much like. Alarms go off, real or metaphorical, and we realize that it is time to move on, to move forward... such moments are often accompanied by a "no." Even if it is a delicious and delightful moving forward towards something good like this morning's massage, or Tahiti) or a positive moving forward away from what was maybe not the best situation but our comfortable habit, that pesky NO will tend to rear its ugly head.

But YES!

Richard Rohr (who I would love to meet one day) suggests something to the effect that when that "no" rears its not very pretty visage, we should pray long enough until the NO turns into a YES... until our clinging to what was, and our resistance to what IS releases softly, allowing us to be at ease and peace (and maybe even enthused!) with what will be.


It happens is small moments, like the tears when my students left yesterday... we had such an amazing workshop time together, no one wanted it to end. But without the leaving they would not go out into the world to teach... and I was SO proud and happy to sign their REIKI Master certificates, knowing they will do GOOD in the world. Though the time was lovely, it was Time to GO...

Not NO - YES!

Life is improv, and as any good improviser will tell you, the key to good playing is the YES. No NOs allowed!

the key to ALL good playing, I think... yes coach i can try shortstop... yes boss I can head up that team... yes Tahiti, I will come teach the next time I am in Nouméa... yes, good idea I will try that new gym... why yes, I would love to go for a coffee (Or hot chocolate. I don't drink coffee. But yes.)

Ah yes yes yes yes YES!!

The moment we get into the flow of YES, life takes us for the great ride we maybe have been waiting for all along... but didn't underpin our lives with the necessary YESes; all too often, the world teaches us to say NO.

So as we move forward (IF we choose to move forward in our lives), the idea is that we enter (more fully and consciously) into IMPROVISATION with the Universe... with the Angels... with God... (insert the word you like for that Presence that you KNOW you have felt at some point in your life, when the eyes filled with tears for no reason other than the beauty of the moment. (Yes even you "tough guys".) In those moments, the yes comes more easily...

Yes yes yes OH YES!

Whatever it was that was yesterday is no longer today.

Today is a new slate, and anything is possible. If we are game, everything can change ... for the better. The Universe wants what is best for us. We may have to work for it, maybe have to leave our comfort zones though, or let go of what we thought we wanted...Hard to believe, sometimes, non?

But YES!

From the perspective of today, all past great hurts turned out to be for the best. ("Whew! That bullet just missed me! Or if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't be here...")

Yet sometimes that YES may seems miles away... or perhaps, like today for me, just a bit stuck. Which is why Rohr suggests prayer. Prayer, a conversation. Maybe something like...

A PRAYER FOR A YES (aka A Little Help Here?

Hey Lord?

I know You see what's up with me these days.

You know how grateful I am for all the (so much!) good that is in my life, swirling around me... really, geez, thank You!

But I know You ALSO see the other stuff. The painful stuff.
What happens when I hold on too tight to what was, when I just can;t seem to let go...

Dear Lord, best and truest Friend,
I am having some trouble getting to my YES right now.

You know I wouldn't ask if I could get there myself... (I can be stubborn that way lol.)
But just for today
It feels like I need You to get me going, along the road that I know is rising to meet me.

So YES, I am asking:
A little help, here?

Thanks and Love, (so much!), from Paris...

Wednesday 30 August 2017

Outta Control (another prayer)

Good morning!

Delighted I am to be in New York right now and not in sweltering in Paris as France is in heat-wave mode (and I have no air conditioning at my apartment there), while New York is delightfully chilly!

I know, I know! It's a bit selfish of me to be happy with chill New York as many prepare for their Labor Day festivities, but I love when nature reminds us that everything is out of control (although sometimes, as with Harvey, she appears to go overboard. Prayers for Houston.)

It's outta control!

From the outset of this life, it seems, we learn that it is important to try to contain life, to control it, to pin it down and make it behave, like a master horse trainer would do with a magnificent wild stallion. Some call it "breaking" the horse, and indeed something pure and precious is broken in the process.

But does it make sense, really, to train that stallion, whose true beauty and strength lies in his wildness? Similarly, does it make sense to tuck our lives into little boxes in a (futile and) desperate effort to feel we are in control of them? Don't we also risk breaking something precious?

In both instances, it is fear that drives the action.

The world fears a stallion, unpredictable, powerful. So we break them to fit them into our molds.

Isn't the same true for our lives, at some level?

Fearing the unknown, we try to fold ourselves up into tidy roles to fit into nice neat boxes (complete with label-maker), in accordance with someone else's rules, or in line with our own fears.

Yet it seems that only when we let go of the reins of control do we actually get a taste of real life, life in its fullness, life that is - oh YES! - unpredictable. But also Life that is fulfilling, rich, amazing, inspired and inspiring.

These days, I am in contact with a lot of students the world over who are in the grip of that kind of fear, wrestling against the net in which that fear binds them. For me, too, the roller coaster that is this life has me these days going back and forth between a joyful, raucous "Look, Ma, no hands!" to something more akin to a whispered "Oh dear Lord, if you get me off of this damn roller coaster, I swear I'll keep my room clean."

The soul's urging to stretch toward the fullness, to each day go out and allow the magic of unbridled Life to happen (allowing the unknown and Unknowable by grace to reveal Itself), is so often countermanded by the very real and human urge to stay in bed.

But we were not meant for sleeping! My Irish grandmother used to say, terse, "You'll sleep when you're dead."

She was right.

If I stay in bed, if I don't move out of my comfort zone and stretch ever further, allowing growth consciously and with wild abandon, I diminish greatly the amount of LIFE in my life. I "break" the stallion.

I don't want to break the stallion.

I want the stallion to run free!

But, so very human, I would also like to be able to see what's coming and control what is going on around me. If left to my own devices, I'd probably put the damn stallion in a pen (it'd be easier), limiting the potential of my life just when it is getting interesting.

Knowing that, it's a good thing also to know that I do not have to be left to my own devices! I've got help (we all do.)

And to call on that help, I begin this day with a prayer...

k. hudson

Dear, dear Lord,
you who know my heart and the chains of its fretting:
release me.

You who see my desire to shine your Light
sometimes thwarted in darkness:
increase me.

You who have held my hand since I and it were small
but who knows the true dimensions of this life's possibility:
unleash me.

Lord, when I cower and shake,
when my voice trembles and it looks like I may crumble or bow:
a-peace me.

And for this day, oh Lord, I beg of you,
help me to allow Your will, my stallion, to run in grandeur through me:
release me!

Release me from my fear to Your courage.
Release me from my smallness to Your infinite grace.
Release me from all judgment to Your clear seeing.
Release me from Fear's shackles to Your loving freedom.

Thank You!

Love from New York...

Monday 7 August 2017

Step Softly (a prayer)

Bonjour, good morning!

The day dawns gently, still, only to be shattered by deliveries to the supermarket across the way: CRASH! BOOM! BANG! I have the feeling of being inside an old Batman show (only the truly - er - ripened (ha!) will understand the reference perhaps.)

Notwithstanding the noise, nothing will disturb the stillness of the morning, as it is my choice how today will go... and I say it will go forward softly.

There are days, sure, when I RUN forward into the day... today is not one of them.

We need both, of course; we need to listen to the distinct rhythm of our being, and to allow that rhythm to set the day in motion: fast or slow, hard or soft.

Today is (whispering) soft.

Not that it won't be busy; it will. Lots to accomplish, much work to do and travel to organize... but before any of that happens, I step into the stillness and ensure that my day begins softly, with a prayer...

Dear, dear Lord...
The day begins and I turn my mind and heart toward You.
You know well the need for wilderness, for coming away from the world.
Today Lord, I feel that need and yet the day is full of steps to take...

Earnest, I turn to You for help.
Help me to remain focused on YOU this day through it all.
Stay my hand, my heart, and my mind, aligned ever with YOU -
that in You I find that peaceful haven that always fills, never depletes.

Thus filled, I can turn to the duties of this day and all days
stayed in Your Presence
allowing the shining of that Light the long of the day
shining with gratitude and love for You.

Can I get a (very soft) AMEN! from Paris...

Sunday 6 August 2017

Is Winter Coming? Game for the Game


Though the sun is shining here in Paris, it has been very chilly here for the last two weeks. It makes for great sleeping weather (in a world where there is not air conditioning, but conditioning ourselves to the natural state of air), but...

Sweater-weather in July? In August? Unheard-of!

What the hell? IS WINTER COMING?

The title of course refers to the viral outbreak of the Game of Thrones, which has finally battered my defenses and taken my city. My Lord...

But the title's wink, wink to a TV show does not diminish it's wink, wink to what is actually happening...

Winter IS coming.

If course, winter is always coming, one could argue: again and again every year it is one of the four siblings that come to play with us for a bit and then wander off to play with others, elsewhere. Wander off to better company, maybe... or simply to company that is fresh and ready, ripe with anticipation for it, after a long, hot... oh, wait a minute! lol But even if the summer is not too hot (thank goodness!), we can be happy for the coming of winter.

The crazy weather patterns which embrace us all these days seem to reflect what can be witnessed happening withIN us, if we slow down enough to discern the snowflakes on the wall.

But then, who slows down?

I laugh, seeing the habit of HURRY clearly in myself, just having finished twelve straight (and wonderful, luscious) days of teaching... only to pack this afternoon with sessions and an organizational meeting for teaching in the Antilles in January (Mama didn't raise no fools - January is NOT an accident! lol)

And all this activity on a SUNday, no less!

So when I say "winter", I am not referring simply to that season. Winter, the "cold" season, is always coming, except when it's already here... and not just to Winterfell.

In our own lands and dominions, winter comes, too (though maybe in the heat of a New York - "It's not the heat, it's the humidity" - summer, it is hard to imagine.) So I will be more clear...

What I name "WINTER" is a period of time when the land is meant to lie fallow, ripening the terrain for fruitful times that will follow.

What I name "Winter" is a resting time, aye, but also a testing time, a proving time. In the silence we learn who we are and what our soul looks like, what our Heart bids us be, or do.

What I name "Winter" can warm us with enthusiasm and eagerness, connecting us to our truth and our path.

What I name "Winter" thus can be either welcomed and provide happy respite from life's rush and ruin.. OR it can be torturous.

To a mind trained (and whose isn't, in the Western world?) to value being ACTIVE over being passive, winter can drag us deep into discontent. And a muck and a mire, if we struggle against it, it can be very unpleasant in its passing.

But this can happen at any time of the year! What I name "Winter" is not just for winter, after all. (And - as much as we may wish it were so - it is not just for Winterfell.)

Winter can jam up our summers, too... when the sun is high in the sky, maybe you (like me?) have a bit of a tough time slowing down. Vacation time is quickly filled with journeys and activities, as if our lives in their entirety must be jammed and packed into a one- or two-week period. Periods that can be FUN, but requiring of a lot of energy!

It is perhaps the better idea to enJOY the rest of the year so we don't have to pack juicy LIFE into a short parentheses called "vacations." It's not even fair to our vacations - who can live up to those expectations?

No, there must be another way.

Maybe summer can be for winter, too?!! :-)

In this period of great change (have you noticed?), sometimes the wintry winds reach our gates and thunder down upon us. Relaxing and enjoying such a "concert" is the ideal, but for many, at times it can feel even as if the gods (!) have it in for us, as if the Universe is against us.

NOT TRUE! Winter - and the Universe are our true friend. Even if it doesn't always feel that way.

I am all too aware that in the doldrums of wishing that things were otherwise, a hand can grab us by the ankle (or maybe it's teeth - Churchill called depression "the big black dog") and drag us downward, most often when we feel powerless in the face of what IS.

When we feel that Life isn't playing nicely with us, often our natural instinct is to FIGHT it!! I learned that tactic young as a young girl back in the Bronx... it doesn't work.

Now I am not saying that we should never fight, mind you! Just that we should pick our fights... fights we can win, maybe.

For example, I am certainly NOT saying we shouldn't fight against injustice! Rather, that would be one of the areas where Winter can help us: when we slow down, we can get real clear about injustice. In a time of calm, the injustice outside of the periphery of our lives can become very clear, and we may feel called to action.

But what is sometimes obfuscated, so that we see only dim traces, outlines in the darkness, is what is out of alignment (un-"just") withIN us. And the Winter can help with that, too. In the stillness, I can begin to enJOY the richness of the Presence that is within, and all around. Winter can help us to enJOY just BEing, no matter what is going on around us. Without having to FILL the void (that spaciousness!) with activity.

Which helps me today: in the midst of activity, I yearn to be still ... and so I still myself. Easy-peasy.

The natural flow of life IS easy: all is included when nothing is fought against. It includes winters and summers, spring and autumn, all. (If we live for only summer, 3/4 of our lives are lost. When I rail about what is going on, I am losing the moments of my life RIGHT NOW: the only moments available to me for joy.)

Harshly, Winter is often used as a metaphor for the joyless; it is certainly the case in "GOT" (at least as far as I can tell - I ma only up to season 3 lol.)

And yet all evidence indicates there is no necessary Truth in that: there are those who frolic in the cold, who relish snows and the long nights, folks who delight in a good book by the fire (or the lamp.) People who enrich Life with quiet and calm.

That calm allows all seasons, welcomes all of Life's playing, and renders JOY in all seasons possible: joy in silence and quiet, joy in activity, joy even in sorrow. Joy is a state of connectedness to the sacred in Life, and so yes we can be sweetly accompanied even in mourning by One who helps us see beyond the veil.

Overall, the more I reject what is actually happening, I reject my path and my life; I take myself out of the Game.

For one thing is certain: Life and Winter have been at this Game much longer than we have. So, either in blind fury we can fruitlessly flail at the vagaries of Life or...

... we can recognizing that there is a Wisdom behind all things, and then stand and play. We can become "game" for the Game!

Consciously or unconsciously, we either sideline ourselves, waiting for summer to come 'round again, or we allow whatever comes to teach us, and teach us well. Perhaps just recognizing that there is a Game afoot is the first step.

It IS a Game!

Life is not meant to be a burden, but to be played. Once that becomes clear, lightness and fun (even in the face of a wintry night in mid-summer) we can breathe more easily and allow the lightness to carry us forward...

On a white wolf, not a dog, from Paris....

Wednesday 5 July 2017

Shoot for the Moon (a fishing tip)


The summer has certainly begun (feels like forever already), and the fireworks of the 4th of July have cleared the way for the dog days of summer...

How will you celebrate it?

Celebrate it?

Yes, celebrate it!

This summer is a special one, after all... it's the only one you've got!

Wait a minute, hold on, don't getcher panties in a twist!

I am NOT saying you will kick the pail between now and summer 2018. Not saying that at all!

Well, not so much...

Let me explain: PAST summers are gone, long gone, some of them! And the further distant they are sometimes the further nostalgic we are about them (and sometimes the further we re-write history and create of the doldrum days of yore, the GOLDEN days or yore.

But I (as is my wont) digress...

When I say that this is the only summer we have, I mean that those past summers are finito. Kaput. Gonnnnnne.

And as for the future summers? Well, even if we DO make it that far into the future (and okay, okay, you likely will... probably lol), we have no control over any of them. They come or we go before they arrive... no control. They come and we enjoy them, or not... NO CONTROL!

We cannot live those future summers from where we are sitting here and now. Can't do it!

So we have ONE option: to live the summer that is staring us in the face.

Now here we DO have some control (even if sometimes it feels like we don't.)

We can DECIDE TO enJOY the summer - that is, to fill each day of our summer with JOY (and not just the ones where we are off from work lol).

If we DON'T decide, if we DON'T step into a stance of power over our summer, well then, we are setting ourselves up for something that might seem a sight less than JOYful.

HOW do we go about assuring our summertime is JOYful, you may ask (I would!)?


If we want to be "over the moon" delighted about our lives (either this day, this summer, or this year), we have to allow ourselves to AIM HIGH - as high as we can!

And if something lands on our boat that is NOT at the level of that of which we dare dream, well then (gulp!!)... throw it back.

Sure, well, many a head will yell and scream at us, hurling invectives maybe, giving us a talking-to, to whit: "This may be the best that comes along!" ... or ... "You may never get another chance!" Or the perennial (and deadly) "Something is better than nothing!"


Because we have ONE life! This is no dress rehearsal! And an almost-ran is an almost-lived!!

If we settle for second best, it should be no surprise at the end of life if we have some misgivings and regret... because a life of second bests was NOT meant for us.

Our hopes are linked to the highest version that this lifetime can be. We are never given a wish without also being given the capacity to make it come true.

Wishes - BIG ONES! - DO come true.

But like fishes, they cannot jump into a boat that is already full of second-best catfish...

Gone fishin' from the Bronx...

Monday 29 May 2017

How Does Your Garden Grow? (honoring the temple and the Earth)

Bonjour !

A sweltering day here in Paris, and without air conditioning quickly one perceives that the "normal" way of being simply will not do.

No oatmeal!

A breakfast standard, oatmeal is great except when the night was already hot and sticky and the morning finds us seeking more water than food, a natural reaction to the heat.

It is interesting to note that (even though it may seem like I am complaining), this is all quite normal.

In line with our nature, in winter we are drawn to hot foods, to nourishing our bodies with rich, warm food and drink, while in the summer, the fresh greens of salads and the light refreshment of water or iced tea seem more appealing.

Of course, this is less evident in places where so much air conditioning abounds that the natural order if obfuscated: where one needs to carry a sweater even in the extreme heat of summer as we go from home to car to work or even for eventual forays into stores to pick up dinner. (No wonder, is it, that stores understand the link between heat and no-hunger, and keep supermarkets at a frigid temperature. We would come away with much less in the cart otherwise...)

but I digress. As usual! ha!

The title is cultivate your garden, a phrase well-known here in France as it is the theme of Voltaire's famous book CANDIDE, "Il faut cultiver son jardin.", an invitation basically to take care of the inner life to lead more fully our outer life.

This morning, in the heat that sticks to the body, I was reminded of that phrase as in this season (beginning way too early, but never mind that - there is no global warming HA!), in places like Europe where we are actually feel the seasons pass, our BODIES lead us to the choices that are right for us in the moment in alignment with Nature, like eating less, hydrating more, rising early and avoiding the midday sun...

You get the idea.

There is a natural rhythm to life that often the craziness of the modern world sometimes erases for us.

In addition to obvious aspects like what we eat and when, there is of course the frenetic pace of a world which has only one speed: go-go-GO... and never a slow-slow-SLOW.

That frantic pace leads many to burnout or -if we don't succeed in maintaining the pace which was never meant to e - sometimes a judgment that we are somehow LESS, somehow not up to snuff.

But we can see, can't we, where all this modernity has brought us? Out of contact with the natural rhythm of the body, whole countries are becoming obese. Out of contact with our natural need to slow down in cycles, whole people are suffering from depression and burnout.

Maybe it's time to try something else?

And if not for us, maybe we can do it for our beloved planet, the Earth?

There is an eco-slogan I love that encapsulates what I am getting at: "We are not defending the Earth; we are the Earth defending herself."

WE ARE PART OF THE EARTH. The planet includes everything on it, everything in its ecosystem and atmosphere... which includes US.

As such, it is not a great leap to understand that how we treat ourselves - starting with our bodies and moving outward from there - is perhaps a key to shifting how we treat the earth (and each other.)

Cultivating our garden, our bodies on every level - physical, but also mental emotional and spiritual - can be a key to open the door to more balance and harmony in our relationship with Nature.

The more we honor the Temple that holds our sacred essence ("this little light of mine"), the more we honor Life, and the context of Life here, the earth.

People who are more in balance are connected to the Heart even more than to the Head, a balance which needs to shift if we are to arrive at changing the world.

So yes, to my beloved eco-friends I say yes to raising awareness and yes to going out into the streets if that is where your heart calls you...

But I would argue that as powerful a movement is the internal one of shifting our own consciousness to maybe showing ourSELVES a little more love. A little more balance. A little more peace.

Because as we go, so goes the Earth. To cultivate a conscious that recognizes the sacred in the Earth, perhaps a necessary first step is to recognize the sacredness in ourselves. Perhaps change will happen, too, one Heart at a time.

So just for today, maybe, what can YOU do to be extra good to your body? need more rest? More music? more healthy foods? Maybe a fast? Or dancing, singing... what is YOUR way to honor your temple today? In short...

How does your garden grown? from Paris...

Wednesday 17 May 2017

Une Prière pour Aujourd'hui (un blog rare - en français !)

Bonjour !

Aujourd'hui j'avais envie d'écrire une prière pour exprimer ce qui est sur mon coeur ce matin. Comme c'est court, je vais le traduire en français (j''ecris en anglais - meme mon livre "LES ANGES ME L'ONT DIT - guide pratique pour les Artisans de Lumière", j'ai écrit en anglais.

Voici le resultat de mes efforts ... mon prière du coeur pour ce jour... si l'envie est là.

Ce matin, le soleil semble de lutter contre les nuages pour s'exprimer, et je commence la journée avec une prière. Vous pouvez le lire si l'envie est là... <3

-k. hudson

Mon Dieu, mon Coeur,
Ce jour, emballez-moi dans vos bras d'Amour,
Tenez mon coeur qui tremble proche au Votre
Comblez-moi avec la Lumière de Votre Amour, et Paix.

Aujourd'hui (plus que tous les autres jours) J'ai besoin de Vous.

Vous (mieux que personne) savez à quel point il y a parfois des journées piquantes sur Terre.
Et moi (mieux que personne) sais que si je ne prends pas ce Temps avec Vous ce matin
Je n'aurai pas la possibilité de Vous voir toute la journée, en tout ce qui est :
les lieux, les evenements et les personnes qui m'entourent en ce jour.

Donc pour commencer bien la journée, SVP, comblez-moi de Votre Amour, de Votre Lumière,
Pour que je puisse voir cet Amour et cette Lumière en toute aspect de la Vie de ce jour
Pour que je puisse porter cet Amour et Lumière en moi
vers ;les endroits et les personne que Vous mettrez sur mon chemin aujourd'hui.

Merci de tout mon coeur à Vous, mon Coeur.

Light and Love from Paris...

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